Mission: meet people

In general the British don't like touching one another. They like to keep a distance between themselves and the person who they are talking to. This is also very true when it comes to introductions and greetings, and they very rarely kiss one another. The only time that they will kiss is if the other person is female, a member of their immediate family, or a close friend that they haven't seen for a long time - and then they will kiss one cheek only. In formal situations there is a strange ritual when you meet someone for the first time, which consists of answering a question with a question. Nobody ever actually answers these questions: A: "How do you do?" B: "How do you do?" You must try to do this without laughing as some people take this custom very seriously. On informal occasions they generally use the following expression to introduce themselves: "Hi, I'm Michael." This is usually accompanied by a handshake. On subsequent meetings people usually just say "hello", but don't touch each other. How do you do? a formal greeting when you first meet someone Pleased to meet you. replying to an introduction Good morning/good afternoon/good evening a formal greeting Good morning, how lovely to see you again. when you see someone again Hello, what a pleasant surprise. a version of the one above Good to see you again. A less formal version of the one above Hello, do you remember me! when you are reintroducing yourself after a long time Hello, aren't you (James) from marketing? when you aren't sure who someone is (A very little nod of the head without saying anything) a very British form of greeting Hi, how's it going? an informal greeting What's up? another informal greeting Alright, mate? a very informal greeting G'day, mate. an informal greeting in Australian Long time, no see. when you haven't seen someone for a long time I haven't seen you for ages. the same as above